In the middle of a pastor's sermon, a man stood up and walked outside. After the service, the pastor approached the wife of the man who walked outside and asked her "Did I say something that offended your husband?" the wife answered "No, he's just sleepwalking." ''''''''''''''''''
A pastor asked, “Who among you here have enemies?” Then the crowd all raised their hands except for one old lady. Then the people around her was amazed and told her "wow, you're very lucky for having no enemies." The old lady replied, "Yes, because the bastards are all dead." ''''''''''''''''''
The Eighth Day And on the eighth day the lord (still miffed at the forbidden fruit incident) created the “stupid” neighbor to Adam and Eve. The stupid neighbor soon populated the Earth with stupid people. Realizing the mistake, the lord denied ever having an eighth day and claimed stupid people came from the “evolution” of chimps.