Submitted by Anonymous, 10/19/2004 2:38:10 PM [profile]
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A Favorite of
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***** COOL INSULTS 4 GALS...*****
1)Hi..i'm a human being.What r u?
2)Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
3)As an outsider what do u think of the human race?
4)I'd like to kick u in the teeth then again why should i improve ur looks.
5)Brains aren't everything..In fact in your case they are nothing.
6)Careful now..don't let ur brains go to ur head.
7)If i had a face like yours..i'd sue my parents.
8)Keep talking..someday you'll say something intelligent.
9)Fellows like you don't grow from trees,they swing from them..
10)You are a living proof that man can live without brains.
11)Hey how come ur here? i thought the zoo is closed at night.
12)How did u get here?Did someone leave ur cage open.
- Unknown
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ID# 24376 |
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Submitted by kaitlin_harris, 4/17/2005 2:47:26 PM [profile]
Submitted by Louise, 10/29/2002 5:37:54 AM [profile]
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A Favorite of
171 Users |
FAIRY TALE FOR WOMEN OF THE 21st CENTURY
Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat,
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever
feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously
on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't f***ing think so.
- Unknown
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ID# 5346 |
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Submitted by TallGal005, 3/7/2004 9:34:58 AM [profile]
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A Favorite of
160 Users |
*******The Top Ten Men!!********
1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off
your clothes"
2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you
want it teased or blown"
4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you
want it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he
says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
6. The Banker because he says,"If you take
it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The Police Officer because he
says,"Spread 'em"
8. The Mailman because he always delivers
his package.
9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and
then slows down.
10. The Hunter because he always goes deep
in the bush, shoots twice
- -unknown
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ID# 14862 |
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Submitted by jello_2323, 12/8/2000 1:09:07 PM [profile]
Submitted by ShehazCatEyes, 2/28/2004 3:01:36 AM [profile]
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A Favorite of
136 Users |
Allow your heart and mind to feel and experience these things for/with him:
To melt by just looking in his eyes,
To let your heart dance to the sound of his laugh,
To hold his hand and never take for granted how it feels when he holds you with both,
To take the chance of being wounded because you will not give him up freely,
To have him consume your every dream, your every thought, your every waking moment,
To be thankful for another night of falling asleep in his arms,and another day of waking up with him in your life,
To get lost at the very thought of him, only to find your way back when he sneaks up from behind and kisses you,
To let him know just how incomplete you would be without him, and how wonderful he is by just being who he is,
To never let anything he accomplishes or achieves ever go unnoticed,
To tell him you love him even more than you did the day before,
To let your shoulder be his support when he has a bad day,
To make sure you have food and beer ready for every game or race, then holler and cheer for his favorite team or driver because you love to watch it with him,
To Learn that sometimes you have to sacrifice your happiness in return for his,
To have passion with every kiss and mind blowing moves with each intimate moment,
To never make him choose between his friends AND you,
To take his breath away at least once a day by doing something unexpected,
To always apologize when you're the one in the wrong,
To miss him just as much when he's not in the same room with you as you would if he were gone for a few months,
To always shower him with nice compliments,
To never let two wrongs make a right,
To let him captivate you by his own views and opinions,
AND
To ALWAYS love him with all you have, with all you are and everything you become.
- Lisa Brooks
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ID# 14601 |
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Submitted by Shrestha, 12/22/2004 4:00:32 AM [profile]
Submitted by Apollo, 4/28/2004 9:37:15 PM [profile]
Submitted by MiChElLe, 10/1/2004 6:53:48 PM [profile]
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A Favorite of
120 Users |
Fairies
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and ' abracadabra! ' two tickets for the new Queen Mary 2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...
So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and - abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story...
Men might be ungrateful idiots...
But fairies are....female!
- Unknown
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ID# 23619 |
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Submitted by Anonymous, 9/21/2004 6:12:25 PM [profile]
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A Favorite of
108 Users |
Men Are Like..
..COFFEE..the best ones are rich,warm and keeps u up all night long.
..GOVERNMENT BONDS...it takes them a long time to mature.
..HOROSCOPES..they always tell u what to do and are usually wrong.
..MASCARA..they usually run out at first sign of emotion
- Unknown
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ID# 23197 |
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