The Best Politics Quotes

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  • 1

    A Favorite of 85 users

    Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
    Father: Sure, son. What's the question?
    Son: What is politics?
    Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me “Tony Blair.” Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her “Gordon Brown.” We take care of your needs, so we'll call you “the People.” We'll call the maid “the Working Class,” and your baby brother we can call “the Future.” Do you understand, son?
    Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.

    That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.
    Son: Dad, now I think I understand what politics is.
    Father: Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?
    Son: Well, dad, while Tony Blair is screwing the Working Class, Gordon Brown is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of s**t.

    Posted by lucky21 in Politics  ID#:36159
  • 2

    A Favorite of 74 users

    "Politicians and diapers have one thing in common --- they both should be changed regularly and for the same reason!"

    Posted by magpie in Politics  ID#:4255
  • 3

    A Favorite of 65 users

    "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

    Posted by Androx in Politics  ID#:21665
  • 4

    A Favorite of 59 users

    There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are 'Bush Fans'.

    Not really knowing what a 'Bush Fan' is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the children raise their hands except one boy, Johnny.
    The teacher asks Johhny why he has decided to be different.

    Johnny says "I'm not a Bush Fan."

    The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush Fan?"

    Johnny says "I'm a Kerry fan."

    The teacher then asks why he's a Kerry Fan. The boy replies, "well my mum's a Kerry fan and my dad is a Kerry fan...so i'm a Kerry fan."

    The teacher is irritated by this, so she says "What if your mum was a moron and your dad was an idiot? What would that make you?"

    Johnny says "That would make me a Bush Fan!"

    Posted by Alexa in Politics  ID#:26109
  • 5

    A Favorite of 57 users

    John Kerry visits a primary school and sits in on one of the classes, which is in the middle of a discussion on words and their meaning. The teacher asks Mr. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."

    So, the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a 'Tragedy.'
    One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who
    lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

    "That's wrong," Kerry shouts. "That would be considered an accident."

    A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

    "You are completely incorrect," shouts the Senator. "That would be what we would consider a great loss." The room goes silent.

    No other children volunteer. Kerry searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

    Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying the
    Senator John Kerry were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

    "Fantastic!" exclaims Kerry. "You are absolutely right. Can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident!"

    Posted by Louise in Politics  ID#:22799
  • 6

    A Favorite of 50 users

    When I want to speak, nobody listens, when they want me to speak, I have nothing to say

    Posted by Anonymous in Politics  ID#:412458
  • 7

    A Favorite of 49 users

    Democracy: Where any two idiots outvote a genius.

    Posted by ziveeman in Politics  ID#:47164
  • 8

    A Favorite of 49 users

    Interviewer: And what would you say to these people who were responsible for the Columbine shootings?
    Marilyn Manson: I wouldn't have said a thing. I would have listened to what they have to say, because that's what nobody did.

    Posted by Kill_The_Prejudice in Politics  ID#:156501
  • 9

    A Favorite of 42 users

    "What we say will soon be forgotten, but what we do, will live on through a thousand years"

    Posted by Julián_D. in Politics  ID#:354989
  • 10

    A Favorite of 40 users

    Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey were flying on Obama's private plane. Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.' Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy. Michelle added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.' Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots back there. Shoot, I could throw all three of their asses out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.'

    Posted by WiseMan in Politics  ID#:199009
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