Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyers" and the part of the second part, also known as "Lightbulb" do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Lightbulb) shall be removed from the current position. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps.
1) the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder, or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (lightbulb) and rotate party of the second part(Lightbulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being nonnegotiable.
2)Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Lightbulb) becomes seperated from the party of the third part (Receptacle), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Lightbulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.