That Top of the Hill Which Is NOT Thereâ€¦
Career is that dream which is not there, illusion, which was catchy enough to keep us wary about setting up our clocks for early wake ups of the very cold winter mornings and the lazy but merciless summer sun, striving to cram some education into our brains with the intent to be better off. After years of steady and tireless efforts and if you are lucky enough, you may get it: a Job, Yes! â€œYes,â€ your brain tells to your soul, â€œIâ€™ve got it! I have made it.â€ You look at yourself at the mirror, and once again your mind whispers in your soul: â€œvery few people do really understand how it feels when you cash the first paycheck ever; and even fewer sense that joyful sensation while getting out of a clothes shop carrying couple of bags of new clothes knowing that they have been paid by money of your making.â€ Sooner or later, the whole package of these sensations starts vanishing one after the other. And all these moments will appear mere trivial societal miserable scenes. Unexpectedly starting to get bored, tired, then reluctant to set up your clock for the early wakeup, you sadly realize that you have spared quarter if not half of your life, the best part of it, lost between books, stressed about papers, exams, applications, fear of failure and crave for success, isolated in classrooms and libraries, excluded from family events, most of the time trying to silence all the vivid young desires, wants and inclinations; lest you may not manage to finish the tomorrow morning paper/presentation. Yes, now you get a career (or if you are lucky enough you have the dream career); dramatically you also realize that you no more own many of the priceless things you used to have but did not value well when you once had them, and if you are curious enough just have a deep look at yourself on the mirror and you will get what I am talking about. You feel so stupid, miserable, disgraced not because you have lost those, but more tragically, because you have lost them over something that is now your nightmare: your job! And once again you look at yourself at the mirror, probably the same one you stood in front of a while ago, but not with the same energy or felicity you had back then. And once again you have the same silent monologue, but this time it is your soul who is going to talk to you and say that you are such f***ed off miserable number in a huge matrix over which you have no control but to either step back handful of the losses, or continue and none should know that your shoes are hutting you. Only then, you realize that you have consumed your whole YOU in trying to get to the point where your only choices are either continue living without a life or silently regret the scarcity of choices you have on your table, and your bestest time will be living your present regrettingthe past: what a sad ending!