I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus’ lap. He loves me and
cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be
your little girl.
I don’t quite understand what has happened. I was so excited
when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet
comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my
surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between
you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with
you.Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard
Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better
soon. I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I
couldn’t imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,
the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came
into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I
began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe
you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I
was screaming and screaming,”Mommy, Mommy, help me
please; Mommy, help me.”
Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought I couldn’t anymore.Then the monster started ripping
my arm off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It
didn’t stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror
as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I
was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you
say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans
to make you happy. Now I couldn’t; all my dreams were
shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain
of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything
to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had
done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I
didn’t know the words you could understand. And soon, I no
longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful
place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He
loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked
Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered,
“Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels.” I
don’t know what abortion is; I guess that’s the name of the
I’m writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I
wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted
to live. I had the will, but I couldn’t; the monster was too
powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of
me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I
tried to stay with you. I didn’t want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through
the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Your Baby Girl