We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b**ch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle
Dear Rubik's Cube,
Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.
Sincerely, Tiger Woods
Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Sincerely, Your Balls
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream...
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio
My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...