The Board Of Wisdom

The Best Quotes

("My Favorites" selections by users)
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  • 141

    A Favorite of
    1611 users

    If you count all the stars in the sky,
    all the grains of sand in the oceans, all the roses in the world and all the smiles that have ever been, then you will have a sample of how much I love you.

    - Philip
    More than 10 years ago by Sinetos  ID#:5650

  • 142

    A Favorite of
    1611 users

    I can't make you love me,want me,or understand me..All I can do Is hope that someday you will

    - Lisa Brooks
    More than 5 years ago by ShehazCatEyes  ID#:8480

  • 143

    A Favorite of
    1608 users

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

    - The Serenity Prayer (Reinhold Niebuhr)
    More than 10 years ago by Donny  ID#:162

  • 144

    A Favorite of
    1602 users

    Actual Answering Machine Messages.
    *My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

    *This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.

    *Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

    *Hi. Now YOU say something.

    *Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.

    *Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.

    - oneluckystar
    More than 5 years ago by oneluckystar  ID#:23580

  • 145

    A Favorite of
    1600 users

    I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.

    - ReDdeRs
    More than 10 years ago by Anonymous  ID#:4831

  • 146

    A Favorite of
    1588 users

    Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

    - John F. Kennedy
    More than 10 years ago by anonymous  ID#:15

  • 147

    A Favorite of
    1559 users

    True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

    The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by amanda3000  ID#:32267

  • 148

    A Favorite of
    1551 users

    Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by Spirit of Yesterday  ID#:18790

  • 149

    A Favorite of
    1551 users

    Although you may not love me, although you may not care. If you shall ever need me, you know that I'll be there. Your love may all be taken, your heart may not be free, but when your heart is broken, you can always lean on me. I'll never stop loving you, I know because I tried. All the oceans in the world, can't hold the tears I've cried.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by Viwiel  ID#:29143

  • 150

    A Favorite of
    1545 users

    Suggestions For Women To Respond To Pickup Lines

    "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
    "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

    He: So what do you do for a living?
    She: Female impersonator.

    "Is this seat empty?"
    "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

    "So, wanna go back to my place?"
    "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

    "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
    "It's in the phone book."
    "But I don't know your name."
    "That's in the phone book too."

    "What sign were you born under?"
    "No Parking."

    "I know how to please a woman."
    "Then please leave me alone."

    "Haven't we met before?"
    "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

    "I want to give myself to you."
    "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

    "I can tell that you want me."
    "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."

    "Hey, baby, What's your sign?"
    "Stop."

    "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
    "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

    "May I see you pretty soon?"
    "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

    "Your body is like a temple."
    "Sorry, there are no services today."

    "I'd go through anything for you."
    "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

    "I would go to the end of the world for you."
    "Yes, but would you stay there?"


    "Your place or mine?"
    "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

    After hearing a pickup line:
    I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

    If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"
    say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."

    He: Would you like to dance?
    She: Not with you.
    He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

    He: Do you wanna dance?
    She: Yeah but not with you!
    He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

    Q: Does beauty run in your family?
    A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

    Q: What's your name sexy?
    A: Taken!

    Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
    A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

    Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
    A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

    He: Your legs go clear up to your a**.
    She: Most peoples' do!

    Q: Can I buy you a drink?
    A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

    "You look like a dream."
    Response: "Go back to sleep."

    He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
    She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

    "I can see forever in your eyes."
    Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

    "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
    Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."

    - website
    More than 5 years ago by rockroyalty1232  ID#:26102
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