The Best Quotes

("My Favorites" selections by users)
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  • 151

    A Favorite of 1612 users

    True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

    The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

    Posted by amanda3000 in Humor  ID#:32267
  • 152

    A Favorite of 1610 users

    If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them

    Posted by Sherrbear in Friendship  ID#:401
  • 153

    A Favorite of 1606 users

    Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

    Posted by simply_kit in Movies  ID#:9665
  • 154

    A Favorite of 1574 users

    The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water

    Posted by DharmaBV in Fun Phrases  ID#:6757
  • 155

    A Favorite of 1571 users

    "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it."

    Posted by Earth in Movies  ID#:23622
  • 156

    A Favorite of 1565 users

    At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is having friends.
    At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
    At age 20 success is having sex.
    At age 35 success is having money.
    At age 50 success is having money.
    At age 60 success is having sex.
    At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is having friends.
    At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

    Posted by tlzflzz in Life  ID#:27392
  • 157

    A Favorite of 1562 users

    I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.

    Posted by Haileyb703 in Movies  ID#:20469
  • 158

    A Favorite of 1557 users

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

    Posted by Anonymous in Life  ID#:4220
  • 159

    A Favorite of 1557 users

    Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

    Posted by Sinetos in Happiness  ID#:6600
  • 160

    A Favorite of 1557 users

    You will always be the answer, when somebody asks me what I'm thinking about.

    Posted by ShehazCatEyes in Love  ID#:13468

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