The Board Of Wisdom

The Best Quotes

("My Favorites" selections by users)
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  • 161

    A Favorite of
    1456 users

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

    - Rita Mae Brown
    More than 10 years ago by aschrage  ID#:4010

  • 162

    A Favorite of
    1450 users

    WHAT IS LOVE?
    Love is a slow kiss goodnight, It's anticipation.
    Love is flirting ourtageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything, It's respect.
    Love is an imperfection in your self not bothering you, it's acceptance.
    Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet, It's patience.
    Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles, it's exploration.
    Love doesn not have to say, "lets make love," because you know what the other person wants, it understands.
    Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed, it's consideration.
    Love is both of you remembering protection, it's responsibility.
    Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles, it's humor.
    Love is being told "stop and i'll kill you." It's desire.
    Love is reviewing the damge to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom, it's abandonment.
    Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time, it's truth.
    Love is knowing what time it is and not caring, it's joy.
    Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace, it's ecstacy.
    Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew, it's renewal.
    Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rathr be woken, it's tenderness.
    Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder, it's where fantasy meets reality.
    Love is being there to wake your lover slowly, it's sensuousness.
    Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago, it's practicality.
    Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed, it's closeness.
    Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person, its trust.
    Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent, its faith.
    Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore" it's a lesson in human frailty.
    Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a prezel, it's adaptation.
    Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before, it's reflection.
    Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover, it's loneliness.
    Love is stories that will never be told, it's personal.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by Anonymous  ID#:11040

  • 163

    A Favorite of
    1437 users

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

    - Unknown
    More than 10 years ago by Anonymous  ID#:4220

  • 164

    A Favorite of
    1434 users

    "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it."

    - Rafiki, from The Lion King
    More than 5 years ago by Earth  ID#:23622

  • 165

    A Favorite of
    1432 users

    Why Girls Love Guys:
    1.The way they act so innocent sometimes
    2.The way they laugh
    3.The way they smile
    4.The way they get confused
    5.The way they look into your eyes and make everything even just for a second go away
    6.The way they touch you just to let you know he is there
    7.The way they try to defend themselves when you tease them
    8.The way he stares at you when you are walking down the hall even though his best friend is telling him the scores of last nights big game
    9.The way they seem to pop out of nowhere and slip their arms around you
    10.The way you fit just right in his arms
    11.The way he gets embarrassed when he does something clutzy around you and tries to cover it up
    12.The way they kiss you when you just had a big fight
    13.The way they kiss you when your day has gone completely wrong
    14.Actually just the way they kiss you
    15.The way when you hug them they feel exactly like your childhood teddy bear
    16.The way they can stay on the phone for hours even if he doesnt have much to say
    17.The way he looks at you when he thinks you are asleep
    18.The way he says "you look beautiful" even though you are just in jeans and a t-shirt
    19.The way they stare at you in class and then still stare after he has gotten in trouble for not paying attention
    20. The way they say "I LOVE YOU"

    - Allison, Jessica, Jessica, Six, and Betty
    More than 5 years ago by get_ova_me  ID#:33576

  • 166

    A Favorite of
    1427 users

    LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

    Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

    "There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on'," but I like your thinking."


    LITTLE TONY ON MATH

    Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

    "Why?" asks the father.

    "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.

    "But that's right !" says his dad.

    "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"

    "What's the f ** king difference ?" asks the father.

    "That's what I said !"


    LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

    Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"

    Little TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

    Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

    Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"

    The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

    Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

    Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"


    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

    First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

    "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

    "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

    She said, "Excellent, Michael !"
    Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

    "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f ** king beautiful !'"


    LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

    Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

    After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

    Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"

    Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f ** king business."


    I LOVE Little Tony !!!!!

    - -ma alise
    More than 5 years ago by crazyasian_luv  ID#:95502

  • 167

    A Favorite of
    1425 users

    I think that the only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only things that dont change; when everybody else does.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by rock_on  ID#:36173

  • 168

    A Favorite of
    1419 users

    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

    - Walter Bagehot
    More than 5 years ago by Fated-Shadows  ID#:17615

  • 169

    A Favorite of
    1417 users

    Laugh when you can,
    apologize when you should,
    and let go of what you can't change.

    Kiss slowly,
    play hard,
    forgive quickly,
    take chances,
    give everything
    and have no regrets.

    Life's too short to be anything…but happy.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by lourkat  ID#:15887

  • 170

    A Favorite of
    1405 users

    On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
    So God agreed.

    On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
    And God agreed.

    On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
    Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

    Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

    So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by luvs2shopalot  ID#:40501
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