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The Best Christmas Quotes

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  • 21

    A Favorite of 62 users

    "Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?"

    Posted by CheetahChick  ID#:100392
  • 22

    A Favorite of 61 users

    This christmas i've decided to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so all the people i don't like can kiss my ass.

    Posted by lolamckenzie  ID#:470811
  • 23

    A Favorite of 60 users

    Dear Santa,
    I've been goood all year...
    Well, most of the time...
    Okay, once in a while...
    Ugh! f*** it I'll buy my own s**t... :D

    Posted by Cutebut  ID#:475126
  • 24

    A Favorite of 58 users

    Dashing through the snow
    On a pair of broken skies
    Over the hills we go
    Crashing into trees
    (Ow Ow Ow)
    The snow is turning red
    I think I'm almost dead
    I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head!
    Oooooo broken skies
    Broken skies
    Lots of broken skies
    O what fun it is to crash into many trees!
    Ow!

    Posted by pinkrose101  ID#:106048
  • 25

    A Favorite of 57 users

    (Jesus and santa had a little conversation)
    Jesus: Hey Santa! You're lucky every Christmas!
    Santa: But why? Im the one giving gifts, not receiving.
    Jesus: Because I'm the one celebrating my birthday. But people are looking for you, not me....

    So guys, let us be reminded that this christmas, let's remember that we are celebrating not just gifts, food, or parties. But also Christ's coming. :)

    Posted by babybeyx  ID#:347789
  • 26

    A Favorite of 57 users

    I don't need an angel on my Christmas tree, I already have one in heaven looking down on me.

    Posted by maya_angkang  ID#:469603
  • 27

    A Favorite of 55 users

    Silly Things To Do At Christmas


    1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Hanukkah.

    2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of the neighbor's nativity scene.

    3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

    4. Call Park Rangers in your area and tell them Rudolph is sick. Ask if you can borrow one of their reindeers. If they tell you no, then yell at them telling them they are heartless bastards for ruining Christmas for all the children around the world.

    5. Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district and stand on the corner saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as women walk by.

    6. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this year.

    7. Create snow sculptures in your yard of snowmen in suggestive poses.

    8. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.

    9. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "Oh, the humanity".

    10. Get a job playing Santa at a corporate Christmas party and ask everyone if they'd like to see some naked pictures of Santa with the Boss's wife.

    11. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.

    12. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children they'll get what you give 'em and that's that!

    13. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children you are sick of the milk and cookies crap and you'd prefer a beer and a hot blonde instead.

    14. Sell Grinch-skin rugs.

    15. Stand on a street corner selling dime bags of mistletoe.

    16. Post a sign in front yard that says Carolers Welcome. Then when they get almost to the front door turn on the sprinklers.

    17. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.

    18. Decorate your yard for the holidays using you neighbor's decorations.

    Posted by lhansen17  ID#:56596
  • 28

    A Favorite of 55 users

    It's christmas a season of joy, love and peace.. lets forget the pain, hatred, fear and worry and all the negative things that happened this year, not just for this day but forever... It's time to move on.. forever and a day...
    God thank you for all the blessings this year.. Peace and Love everyone!!! =)

    Posted by lyfismusic  ID#:347173
  • 29

    A Favorite of 54 users

    MY Christmas List
    1. You
    2. Umm yeah that's all.

    Posted by twilightlova  ID#:253678
  • 30

    A Favorite of 53 users

    What is Christmas?

    It is belief in the past, courage for the present, and hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.

    Posted by Anonymous  ID#:5945

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