The Board Of Wisdom

The Best Lawyers Quotes

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  • 21

    A Favorite of
    13 users

    No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails.

    - John Mortimer
    More than 10 years ago by aschrage  ID#:3984

  • 22

    A Favorite of
    12 users

    The Brothel

    The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

    'May I help you sir?' she asked

    'I want to see Valerie,' he said.

    'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.
    'No, I must see Valerie,' he said.
    Valerie appeared and told the man she charged $5000 a visit. Without hesitation, he pulled out five thousand dollars, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour the man calmly left.
    The next night the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.
    Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour he left.
    The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
    After their session Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'
    ' Ontario .'
    'Really', she said. 'I have family in Ontario .'
    'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

    The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
    1. Death
    2. Taxes
    3. Being screwed by a lawyer

    - Uncle Bob
    More than a year ago by Tc_Origenal  ID#:197573

  • 23

    A Favorite of
    11 users

    "It's only illegal if you get caught."

    - Me
    More than a year ago by Tc_Origenal  ID#:192821

  • 24

    A Favorite of
    10 users

    What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

    Your Honor.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by aschrage  ID#:153970

  • 25

    A Favorite of
    10 users

    The more we act, the more we realize that action can be taken.

    - Reed Markham, American Educator
    More than a year ago by Stanford  ID#:195395

  • 26

    A Favorite of
    9 users

    Any mammal that lives in the dirt is either a mole or a lawyer!

    - Ellie from 'Rave Master'
    More than 5 years ago by Fated-Shadows  ID#:18665

  • 27

    A Favorite of
    9 users

    What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
    One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

    - Unknown
    More than 5 years ago by aschrage  ID#:159692

  • 28

    A Favorite of
    9 users

    "justice is blind and expensive"

    - Josh hanafi
    More than a year ago by ZacK_Hanafi  ID#:251842

  • 29

    A Favorite of
    9 users

    I don't like to get angry. It makes me angry.

    - Unknown
    More than 6 months ago by Anonymous  ID#:534005

  • 30

    A Favorite of
    8 users

    Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

    - George Bernard Shaw
    More than 10 years ago by aschrage  ID#:3986
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