The Best Marriage Quotes

  • All
  • 21

    A Favorite of 80 users

    I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

    Posted by marzok in Marriage  ID#:324720
  • 22

    A Favorite of 76 users

    If you have to invite your best friend to your wedding, you are marrying the wrong person.

    Posted by brezoongi in Marriage  ID#:175364
  • 23

    A Favorite of 76 users

    He stole my heart..
    So, I stole his last name.

    Posted by kikalina in Marriage  ID#:352818
  • 24

    A Favorite of 67 users

    Golden Rule:-
    ‘To be happy with a man,
    love him little and understand him a lot.

    To be happy with a woman,
    love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)”

    Posted by chikkugtavc in Marriage  ID#:286893
  • 25

    A Favorite of 65 users

    A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood...

    Posted by QuoteandQuote in Marriage  ID#:258814
  • 26

    A Favorite of 65 users

    Through all the changes
    in my life, your love
    has remained
    constant and unconditional.
    Though at times
    you may have questioned,
    worried or wondered...
    you never stopped loving me.
    On this day of love
    I want you to know how very much that means.
    You who have loved me first,
    love me best.
    Thank you for all the love you've shared.

    Happy Valentine's Day

    Posted by sweet_tomatoes in Marriage  ID#:266149
  • 27

    A Favorite of 62 users

    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    Posted by aschrage in Marriage  ID#:161542
  • 28

    A Favorite of 60 users

    before and after marriage

    Before - You take my breath away.
    After - I feel like I’m suffocating.

    Before - Twice a night.
    After - Twice a month.

    Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
    After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

    Before - Ricky & Lucy.
    After - Fred & Ethel.

    Before - Saturday Night Live.
    After - Monday Night Football.

    Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
    After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

    Before - Don’t Stop.
    After - Don’t Start.

    Before - The Sound of Music.
    After - The Sound of Silence.

    Before - Is that all you are eating?
    After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

    Before - Wheel of Fortune.
    After - Jeopardy.

    Before - It’s like living a dream.
    After - It’s a nightmare.

    Before - $60/dozen.
    After - $1.50/stem.

    Before - Turbocharged.
    After - Needs a jump-start

    Before - We agree on everything!
    After - Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

    Before - Victoria’s Secret.
    After - Fruit of the Loom.

    Before - Feathers & handcuffs.
    After - Ball and chain.

    Before - Idol.
    After - Idle.

    Before - He’s lost without me.
    After - Why can’t he ask for directions?

    Before - When together, time stands still.
    After - This relationship is going nowhere.

    Before - Croissant and cappuccino.
    After - Bagels and instant coffee.

    Before - Oysters.
    After - Fishsticks.

    Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
    After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

    Before - Romeo and Juliet.
    After - Bill and Hillary;

    Posted by Liquid- in Marriage  ID#:163568
  • 29

    A Favorite of 59 users

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Sacha Guitry

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Sigmund Freud

    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
    -Sam Kinison

    'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
    -James Holt McGavra

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    -Patrick Murra

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

    Posted by Tc_Origenal in Marriage  ID#:200653
  • 30

    A Favorite of 59 users

    I'm gonna marry you.
    plan your life accordingly.

    Posted by SaraLove in Marriage  ID#:268316

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