The Best Marriage Quotes

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  • 21

    A Favorite of 76 users

    Sharing a Meal  

    The little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds that cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked
    admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking.

    "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

    The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the
    tray.

    There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully
    counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

    As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking. "That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

    As the man began to eat his french fries one young man stood and came over to the old couples table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple to eat. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything.

    Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat. This time the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing everything together.

    As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand it no longer. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food. After being politely refused again he finally asked a question of the little old lady.

    "Maam, why aren't you eating? You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

    She answered, "The teeth".

    Posted by ILoveYou05  ID#:75793
  • 22

    A Favorite of 76 users

    If you have to invite your best friend to your wedding, you are marrying the wrong person.

    Posted by brezoongi  ID#:175364
  • 23

    A Favorite of 73 users

    He stole my heart..
    So, I stole his last name.

    Posted by kikalina  ID#:352818
  • 24

    A Favorite of 65 users

    Through all the changes
    in my life, your love
    has remained
    constant and unconditional.
    Though at times
    you may have questioned,
    worried or wondered...
    you never stopped loving me.
    On this day of love
    I want you to know how very much that means.
    You who have loved me first,
    love me best.
    Thank you for all the love you've shared.

    Happy Valentine's Day

    Posted by sweet_tomatoes  ID#:266149
  • 25

    A Favorite of 65 users

    Golden Rule:-
    ‘To be happy with a man,
    love him little and understand him a lot.

    To be happy with a woman,
    love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)”

    Posted by chikkugtavc  ID#:286893
  • 26

    A Favorite of 61 users

    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    Posted by aschrage  ID#:161542
  • 27

    A Favorite of 60 users

    A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood...

    Posted by QuoteandQuote  ID#:258814
  • 28

    A Favorite of 58 users

    before and after marriage



    Before - You take my breath away.
    After - I feel like I’m suffocating.

    Before - Twice a night.
    After - Twice a month.

    Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
    After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

    Before - Ricky & Lucy.
    After - Fred & Ethel.

    Before - Saturday Night Live.
    After - Monday Night Football.

    Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
    After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

    Before - Don’t Stop.
    After - Don’t Start.

    Before - The Sound of Music.
    After - The Sound of Silence.

    Before - Is that all you are eating?
    After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

    Before - Wheel of Fortune.
    After - Jeopardy.

    Before - It’s like living a dream.
    After - It’s a nightmare.

    Before - $60/dozen.
    After - $1.50/stem.

    Before - Turbocharged.
    After - Needs a jump-start

    Before - We agree on everything!
    After - Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

    Before - Victoria’s Secret.
    After - Fruit of the Loom.

    Before - Feathers & handcuffs.
    After - Ball and chain.

    Before - Idol.
    After - Idle.

    Before - He’s lost without me.
    After - Why can’t he ask for directions?

    Before - When together, time stands still.
    After - This relationship is going nowhere.

    Before - Croissant and cappuccino.
    After - Bagels and instant coffee.

    Before - Oysters.
    After - Fishsticks.

    Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
    After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

    Before - Romeo and Juliet.
    After - Bill and Hillary;

    Posted by Liquid-  ID#:163568
  • 29

    A Favorite of 58 users

    I'm gonna marry you.
    plan your life accordingly.

    Posted by SaraLove  ID#:268316
  • 30

    A Favorite of 57 users

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Sacha Guitry

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -Socrates

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
    -Anonoymous

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
    -Dumas

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Sigmund Freud

    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
    -Anonymous

    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
    -Sam Kinison

    'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
    -James Holt McGavra

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    -Patrick Murra

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
    -Nash

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    -Anonymous

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
    -Anonymous

    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
    -Anonymous

    Posted by Tc_Origenal  ID#:200653
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