The only site that shows the best quotes first!

470,000 quotes contributed and ranked by 140,000 users! Join our community today!

Mobile view >

The Best Marriage Quotes

  • All
  • 31

    A Favorite of 57 users

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Sacha Guitry

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Sigmund Freud

    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
    -Sam Kinison

    'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
    -James Holt McGavra

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    -Patrick Murra

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

    Posted by Tc_Origenal  ID#:200653
  • 32

    A Favorite of 54 users

    I am truly blessed to have you in my life. The day that you entered my world changed me in such a positive way. Life is beautiful now. I see the importance in every action that I take. Each second is cherished. You are the most incredible person that I have ever encountered. Thank you for being the woman that you are. I love, appreciate, trust, honor, praise, and worship you with all of my being. I commit, submit and devote all of myself to you and you only forever. It is such a privilege that you have bestowed on me to be your husband. I truly understand the meaning of marriage and all of the joys and responsibilities involved. Always know that there is not any hurdle that we can't jump over together. The love that we share is priceless. Words can't even begin to touch the surface of our union. My mind is working overtime in appreciation of you and I just wanted you to know. If what I just said touches your heart and let's you know how I feel. Just think how you would feel if I could really find the words. I only touched the surface of my feelings. Your happiness inspires my happiness. You are like air to me...I need you.

    I love you and I can't wait to meet you at the altar...

    Posted by keybone3  ID#:34023
  • 33

    A Favorite of 53 users

    Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

    Posted by None  ID#:990
  • 34

    A Favorite of 53 users

    If you run ahead, I'll catch up with you. If you fall behind, I'll wait for you. If you walk by my side, I'll marry you.

    Posted by Linda_Beth  ID#:432536
  • 35

    A Favorite of 52 users

    Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

    Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

    Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

    Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

    Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

    Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

    Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

    Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
    * The Engagement Ring
    * The Wedding Ring
    * The Suffe-Ring
    * The Endu-Ring

    Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
    * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

    Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

    It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

    There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

    A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

    Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

    Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere

    Posted by GAGUSKIES  ID#:140641
  • 36

    A Favorite of 52 users

    Son: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying.

    Posted by Eleposann  ID#:173514
  • 37

    A Favorite of 51 users

    My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.

    Posted by aschrage  ID#:30564
  • 38

    A Favorite of 51 users

    Grow old along with me
    the best is yet to be.

    Posted by lou_lou  ID#:47415
  • 39

    A Favorite of 51 users

    At a wedding rehersal the groom says to the pastor, "This $100 bill is yours is you change the vows-- just leave the part out where i promise to 'love, honor and obey her as lond as you both shall live'". He gives the pastor the bill and walks away satisfied. During the vows the pastor turns to him and says,"Do you promise to obey her every command, serve her breakfast in bed every morning, ans swear to never look at another woman as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps and shakily responds "Yes...". After wards he hisses tot he pastor "I thought we had a deal!" The pastoe quietly returns the $100 bill and whispers "She made me a better offer."

    Posted by Anonymorific  ID#:69133
  • 40

    A Favorite of 49 users

    No matter how happilly a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."

    Posted by ShehazCatEyes  ID#:15155

Please confirm your action.