The Best Marriage Quotes

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  • 31

    A Favorite of 57 users

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Sacha Guitry

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -Socrates

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
    -Anonoymous

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
    -Dumas

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Sigmund Freud

    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
    -Anonymous

    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
    -Sam Kinison

    'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
    -James Holt McGavra

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    -Patrick Murra

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
    -Nash

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    -Anonymous

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
    -Anonymous

    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
    -Anonymous

    Posted by Tc_Origenal in Marriage  ID#:200653
  • 32

    A Favorite of 56 users

    I am truly blessed to have you in my life. The day that you entered my world changed me in such a positive way. Life is beautiful now. I see the importance in every action that I take. Each second is cherished. You are the most incredible person that I have ever encountered. Thank you for being the woman that you are. I love, appreciate, trust, honor, praise, and worship you with all of my being. I commit, submit and devote all of myself to you and you only forever. It is such a privilege that you have bestowed on me to be your husband. I truly understand the meaning of marriage and all of the joys and responsibilities involved. Always know that there is not any hurdle that we can't jump over together. The love that we share is priceless. Words can't even begin to touch the surface of our union. My mind is working overtime in appreciation of you and I just wanted you to know. If what I just said touches your heart and let's you know how I feel. Just think how you would feel if I could really find the words. I only touched the surface of my feelings. Your happiness inspires my happiness. You are like air to me...I need you.

    I love you and I can't wait to meet you at the altar...

    Posted by keybone3 in Marriage  ID#:34023
  • 33

    A Favorite of 53 users

    Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

    Posted by None in Marriage  ID#:990
  • 34

    A Favorite of 53 users

    If you run ahead, I'll catch up with you. If you fall behind, I'll wait for you. If you walk by my side, I'll marry you.

    Posted by Linda_Beth in Marriage  ID#:432536
  • 35

    A Favorite of 52 users

    Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

    Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

    Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

    Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

    Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

    Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

    Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

    Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
    * The Engagement Ring
    * The Wedding Ring
    * The Suffe-Ring
    * The Endu-Ring

    Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
    * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

    Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

    It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

    There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

    A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

    Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

    Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere

    Posted by GAGUSKIES in Marriage  ID#:140641
  • 36

    A Favorite of 52 users

    Son: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying.

    Posted by Eleposann in Marriage  ID#:173514
  • 37

    A Favorite of 51 users

    Grow old along with me
    the best is yet to be.

    Posted by lou_lou in Marriage  ID#:47415
  • 38

    A Favorite of 51 users

    At a wedding rehersal the groom says to the pastor, "This $100 bill is yours is you change the vows-- just leave the part out where i promise to 'love, honor and obey her as lond as you both shall live'". He gives the pastor the bill and walks away satisfied. During the vows the pastor turns to him and says,"Do you promise to obey her every command, serve her breakfast in bed every morning, ans swear to never look at another woman as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps and shakily responds "Yes...". After wards he hisses tot he pastor "I thought we had a deal!" The pastoe quietly returns the $100 bill and whispers "She made me a better offer."

    Posted by Anonymorific in Marriage  ID#:69133
  • 39

    A Favorite of 49 users

    No matter how happilly a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."

    Posted by ShehazCatEyes in Marriage  ID#:15155
  • 40

    A Favorite of 48 users

    How To Make Women Happy...
    The Point System
    (advice according to women)

    Simple Duties:
    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

    You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
    You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
    When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
    When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

    You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
    In the snow (+8)
    But return with beer (-5)

    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
    It's her pet (-10)

    Social Engagements At a Party:
    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
    Named Tiffany (-4)
    Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
    Tiffany has implants (-8)

    Her Birthday:
    You take her out to dinner (0)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
    Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

    A Night Out With the Boys:
    Go with a pal (-5)
    The pal is happily married (-4)
    Or frighteningly single (-7)
    And he drives a Mustang (-10)
    With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

    A Night Out:
    You take her to a movie (+2)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
    Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    Your Physique:
    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

    Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
    You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
    You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)


    The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"
    You hesitate in responding (-10)
    You reply, "Where?" (-35)
    Any other response (-20)

    Posted by ILoveYou05 in Marriage  ID#:75780
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