The Best Parenthood Quotes

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  • 41

    A Favorite of 40 users

    If You Give A Mom A Muffin...

    If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
    She'll pour herself some. The coffee will get spilled by her three year old.
    She'll wipe it up.
    Wiping the floor, she will find some dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do some laundry.
    When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over some snow boots and bump into the freezer.
    Bumping into the freezer will remind her that she has to plan dinner for tonight.
    She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook (101 ways to cook hamburger).
    The cookbook is sitting under the pile of mail. She will see the phone bill which is due tomorrow.
    She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.
    She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two year old.
    While changing the two year old the phone rings. Her five year old will answer it and hang up.
    She remembers that she wants to phone a friend to come over for coffee on Friday. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
    She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

    Posted by Louise in Parenthood  ID#:5445
  • 42

    A Favorite of 39 users

    A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

    Posted by Anonymous in Parenthood  ID#:5205
  • 43

    A Favorite of 38 users

    If you have never been hated by your child... you have never been a parent.

    Posted by Anonymous in Parenthood  ID#:350021
  • 44

    A Favorite of 38 users

    I look at my parents and nearly cry, it brakes my heart to see how they've given up everything to watch me shine, a parents love is unconditional

    Posted by Hope Derbyshire in Parenthood  ID#:555595
  • 45

    A Favorite of 37 users

    **Lies I've told my 3 year old recently**

    Trees talk to each other at night.

    All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.

    Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.

    Tiny bears live in drain pipes.

    If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.

    The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.

    Everyone knows at least one secret language.

    When nobody is looking, I can fly.

    We are all held together by invisible threads.

    Books get lonely too.

    Sadness can be eaten.

    I will always be there.

    Posted by Margeri in Parenthood  ID#:170224
  • 46

    A Favorite of 37 users

    "You can't shelter your children forever..people grow and learn from their mistakes, if you keep them from ever making any..how are they ever going to survive in the real world?"

    Posted by dillonb in Parenthood  ID#:204199
  • 47

    A Favorite of 37 users

    If you want your daughter to follow in your footsteps as an adult, you must first let her walk around in your shoes as a child.

    Posted by Linda_Beth in Parenthood  ID#:441513
  • 48

    A Favorite of 35 users

    To understand your parents’ love you must raise children yourself

    Posted by chaotik_mind in Parenthood  ID#:139825
  • 49

    A Favorite of 35 users

    Turning a boy into a man is a man's job. These are the 5 key things to remember.

    1) Be around.
    2) Be his father, not this friend. If you don't understand the difference, imagine his confusion when you must discipline him.
    3) Be a good husband. Show his mother respect at all times.
    4) Be home for dinner.
    5) Be his hero.

    Posted by ViciousGnome in Parenthood  ID#:260080
  • 50

    A Favorite of 34 users

    "One day in an emergency waiting room, a little girl turned to her mother and asked, 'What is sex?' People turned their full attention to Mom. I mean, this was better than whatever was on the waiting-room television - better than Jerry Springer. I mean this was real life. How do you answer a six-year-old girl? What is sex? This is one hot topic. You know, kids seem to know so much more that I did at their age; they are exposed to so much more these days on television and at the movies. How was Mom going to answer? I'm the kind of guy who just goes ahead and answers the question right away, like I not only know the answer, but understand the question. So I'm curious about how Mom is going to tell this little girl about how babies are made. Or how Mom is going to dodge this difficult question. I mean, is Mom going to talk to a little child about safe sex? I'm pretty sure Mom is not going to talk about ways to have sex; although you just really never know what might happen in the emergency room. But she surprises me; she doesn't think in the way I think or respond the way I usually respond. Instead, she pauses. I hardly ever pause. She then thoughtfully asks her daughter, 'What do you mean, dear?' The little girl responds, 'Well, Mom, I was looking at this paper and it says sex - M/F. Am I an M or an F?' Mom's face breaks into a huge smile. The waiting room patrons resume their usual chatter. And I laugh. I would have answered the wrong questions. I had heard the question, but I really did not listen to what the little girl was saying."

    Posted by aschrage in Parenthood  ID#:7266

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