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The Best Men Quotes

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  • 51

    A Favorite of 72 users

    Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

    Posted by None  ID#:955
  • 52

    A Favorite of 71 users

    Men are like hardwood floors...lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over them for a lifetime

    Posted by Anonymous  ID#:4627
  • 53

    A Favorite of 70 users


    1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup

    Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
    Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

    2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk

    Advantages: Stays put; predictable
    Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass

    3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you

    Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
    Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

    4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb

    Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
    Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

    5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict

    Advantages: Well rested; easy target
    Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams

    6. The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a B**ch

    Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
    Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

    7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster

    Advantages: Perpetually aroused
    Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

    8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but ..." Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind

    Advantages: Tells good stories
    Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"

    9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy

    Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
    Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction

    Posted by Ms.gYna  ID#:79713
  • 54

    A Favorite of 70 users

    it's no coincidence that pinocchio was a male.

    Posted by TiffyBoohx33  ID#:363009
  • 55

    A Favorite of 69 users

    People will fight in a relationship, it is unavoidable. But there is a very rare type of relationship, as close to a perfect relationship as u can get, where the couple don't fight or argue and still be sane and happy at the end of the day. And the only way to get there is for the man to accept that the woman is always right.

    Posted by tlzflzz  ID#:27992
  • 56

    A Favorite of 69 users

    A real man doesn't make love to a million women. A real man makes love to one woman a million ways...

    Posted by vinaymanduva  ID#:167750
  • 57

    A Favorite of 68 users

    Men are the best cooks. Because with two eggs, one sausage, & a little bit of milk he can fill a girls stomach for nine months.

    Posted by msbravo23  ID#:392302
  • 58

    A Favorite of 67 users

    A man is a king a king is a ruler a ruler is 12 inches long still think your a man ?????

    Posted by steve  ID#:33376
  • 59

    A Favorite of 67 users

    12 Things Women Don't Know About Men
    1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.
    2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.
    3. Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
    4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
    5. Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
    6. You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.
    7. You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.
    8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
    9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
    10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
    11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.
    12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)

    Posted by tear_eyed_  ID#:146464
  • 60

    A Favorite of 66 users

    I want to be the girl he hangs up his jersey for and says...
    i aint gonna be a player anymore!!

    Posted by MikeyLynn21xo  ID#:107542

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