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  • 51

    A Favorite of 2882 users

    Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.

    Posted by Anonymous  ID#:4846
  • 52

    A Favorite of 2882 users

    "you never really stop loving someone. you just learn to try to live without them"

    Posted by ashmae234  ID#:9387
  • 53

    A Favorite of 2869 users

    "Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."

    Posted by MissMorbidity  ID#:8311
  • 54

    A Favorite of 2860 users

    There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

    Posted by Anonymous  ID#:10552
  • 55

    A Favorite of 2840 users

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

    This student received the only A.

    Posted by AA  ID#:3972
  • 56

    A Favorite of 2840 users

    People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

    Posted by Anonymous  ID#:4813
  • 57

    A Favorite of 2836 users

    I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.

    Posted by xmaryx06  ID#:18616
  • 58

    A Favorite of 2830 users

    Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

    1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
    2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
    3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
    4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
    5) MEOW occasionally.
    6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
    7) SAY -DING at each floor.
    8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
    9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
    10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
    11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
    12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
    13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
    14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
    15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
    16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
    17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
    18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
    19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
    20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
    21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
    22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

    Posted by aschrage  ID#:9498
  • 59

    A Favorite of 2819 users

    A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
    Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
    From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
    and
    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

    A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.

    Posted by skitzo  ID#:30309
  • 60

    A Favorite of 2793 users

    When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.

    Posted by Eore21  ID#:4014

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