The Best Men Quotes

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  • 61

    A Favorite of 64 users

    GUYS NOTE TO SELF:

    1. Girls need their space, so ALWAYS allow it
    2. DON'T tell a girl she's HOT, because the real word to use is "BEAUTIFUL"
    3. Never slap a girls butt (especially if they're wearing a tampon)
    5. ALWAYS hold your girl as long as you can so that when she leaves you can still smell her perfume
    6. When you're nice to a girl EXPECT some niceness back, don't be afraid to take it
    7. If you write her a note, DON'T spell her name wrong
    8.CRY when you need to...because one day when you do cry all those saved tears will poor out like a flood
    9.TRUST girls with your HEARTS, but only if they're willing to give your theirs
    10. THINK before your act!! (that's usually the best road to take...)

    Posted by RoCkHaRd98 in Men  ID#:201111
  • 62

    A Favorite of 63 users

    So maybe this one guy is worth all these tears you've been crying. Maybe he is worth forgiving after he's ripped your heart out. Maybe he really is worth all of what you say he is. But maybe he's not. How do you know? You will never know until you clear your eyes of the tears, and clear your heart and mind of the pain. So cry your eyes out until you have nothing left, sob your heart out until it all feels numb. Then open your eyes and see this guy for the first time. Is he all you thought him to be? Or just another boy, dressed up as the man of your dreams?

    Posted by spyderbitebabe in Men  ID#:79387
  • 63

    A Favorite of 63 users

    The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest with a knife

    Posted by jellybee in Men  ID#:140380
  • 64

    A Favorite of 62 users

    Anything boys can do girls can do better... And we can do it in heels.

    Posted by BoredOutOfMyMind in Men  ID#:294381
  • 65

    A Favorite of 60 users

    The perfect man is like the Lochness Monster... they say he exists but no one's ever seen him

    Posted by loopymummy in Men  ID#:84500
  • 66

    A Favorite of 59 users

    TRUST NO N!GGA, FEAR NO B!TCH. guys are a**holes. if you dress sexy, you’re a slut. if you argue with him, you’re hard-headed. if you’re quiet, you don’t care. if you call him, you’re too clingy. if he calls you, he says you should be happy. if you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you. when you do love him, he leaves. if you don’t f**k him, you’re a tease. if you do, you’re easy. you tell him your problems, he says you’re irritating. if you don’t, he says you don’t trust him. if you lecture him, you just wanna argue. if he lectures you, it’s cuz he “cares” if you break a promise, he doesn’t trust you anymore. if he breaks it, it’s cuz he had to. if you cheat, he expects it to be over. if he cheats, he wants another chance.

    Posted by Anonymous in Men  ID#:252061
  • 67

    A Favorite of 58 users

    the opposite sex is the
    most dangerous & addictive
    drug out there. But the high
    is unlike anything you'll ever try...

    Posted by ILoveYou05 in Men  ID#:148205
  • 68

    A Favorite of 57 users

    Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..

    Husband: Who is he?

    Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.

    Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!! :D

    Posted by Manav_sekhon in Men  ID#:433227
  • 69

    A Favorite of 56 users

    MEN ARE LIKE MASCARA THEY RUN AT THE FIRST SIGN OF EMOTION.

    Posted by C.J. Hooker in Men  ID#:16098
  • 70

    A Favorite of 55 users

    "I'M GOING FISHING"
    Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
    Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Translated: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F. Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
    Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
    Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

    Posted by lucky21 in Men  ID#:45952
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