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The Best Men Quotes

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  • 71

    A Favorite of 58 users

    the opposite sex is the
    most dangerous & addictive
    drug out there. But the high
    is unlike anything you'll ever try...

    Posted by ILoveYou05  ID#:148205
  • 72

    A Favorite of 57 users

    Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..

    Husband: Who is he?

    Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.

    Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!! :D

    Posted by Manav_sekhon  ID#:433227
  • 73

    A Favorite of 56 users

    MEN ARE LIKE MASCARA THEY RUN AT THE FIRST SIGN OF EMOTION.

    Posted by C.J. Hooker  ID#:16098
  • 74

    A Favorite of 55 users

    "I'M GOING FISHING"
    Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
    Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Translated: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F. Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
    Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
    Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

    Posted by lucky21  ID#:45952
  • 75

    A Favorite of 54 users

    "Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore."

    Posted by magpie  ID#:4247
  • 76

    A Favorite of 54 users

    Guys Are Like Public Toilets
    They're Either Taken
    Or Full of Crap

    Posted by trishm  ID#:28394
  • 77

    A Favorite of 54 users

    Nice men are ugly, handsome men are mean, the nice + handsome men are gay!!

    Posted by XxAnNaLeSexX  ID#:42698
  • 78

    A Favorite of 53 users

    I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

    Posted by C.J. Hooker  ID#:16360
  • 79

    A Favorite of 53 users

    If a girl has to ask a guy to go out with them, that means the guy isn't man enough to deserve you.

    Posted by Blondie1233  ID#:188967
  • 80

    A Favorite of 53 users

    If a guy has to make you go after him, then he's not worth it. Or if a guy doesn't treat you with respect, he is definately not worth it. AND if a guy thinks it's alright for him to say what's on his mind without you getting mad but you can't say what's on your mind or he will get mad...then he is most DEFINATELY not worth it.

    Posted by -megannn_  ID#:299677
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