The harder I try, the more things fall. The quicker I work, the faster they fall. The more I try the be happy, the more guilty I feel. My life is falling apart and the harder I try to piece things back together, the worst things get. The more I try to just let things flow, the more "Im not trying". Damned if I do, damned if I dont. When I try to put a smile on my face and walk around I feel like s**t. My life is not happy, my home is no home, my brothers and my mom look at me as if im insane when I act as if nothings wrong. But I get told to stay happy. HOW? when you get told something enough, you begin to believe it.