29 Fun things to do When Sales People Call
Tell them they must have the wrong number, only god lives here
When they call back, Tell them this is the devil’s residence
Tell them she/he can’t come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days.
Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.
Start telling them your life story
Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live
Reply to all their questions in song
Ask for someone who can translate pig Latin, as you speak no other language
Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house (under 5)
As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly
Start trying to give them a psychological analysis
Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopsticks
Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning
Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today
Describe your socks in detail
Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster
Whiningly tell thing that it is past your bedtime
Midway through the conversation say, "oh no Phil! You’ve done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?"
Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes
Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!
Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong
Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more
Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream "Don’t leave Me!"
Tell them about the time when you got stuck in the doggy door
When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally
Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you return to Earth
In the middle of the conversation start humming the sesame street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"
Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place