The Best Geek Quotes

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  • 41

    A Favorite of 60 users

    Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.

    Posted by None in Geek  ID#:3862
  • 42

    A Favorite of 59 users

    You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.

    Posted by Alkdarf in Geek  ID#:21456
  • 43

    A Favorite of 59 users

    Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.

    Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.

    Posted by Varian in Geek  ID#:107517
  • 44

    A Favorite of 58 users

    Genesis Take Two

    1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from
    those he created the Word.

    2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.
    And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was

    3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.
    And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.
    And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

    4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place
    to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.
    Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

    5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small
    and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill
    all the Memory.

    6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer
    will make new programs and govern over the computers and
    programs and Data.

    7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;
    And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said
    You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE

    8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.
    He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a
    creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire
    the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;
    And God called the creature: the User.

    9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS
    and it was Good.

    10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.
    And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to
    run any programs ?

    11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every
    program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows
    or we will die.

    12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something
    you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will
    become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you
    like by a simple click of your mouse.

    13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
    easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless
    - since Windows could replace it.

    14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to
    the Programmers that it was good.

    15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
    And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the
    Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I
    can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need
    drivers? Did you run Windows?
    And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !

    16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated
    by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
    And you will always sell Windows.

    17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows
    will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will
    have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the
    Programmers help.

    18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the
    User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors
    and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

    19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door
    and secured it with a password.


    Posted by ziveeman in Geek  ID#:50731
  • 45

    A Favorite of 56 users

    A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.

    Posted by ziveeman in Geek  ID#:46790
  • 46

    A Favorite of 55 users

    COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

    Posted by Anonymous in Geek  ID#:5001
  • 47

    A Favorite of 55 users

    I wish I could find someone like Google.
    Someone to finish my thoughts, correct my mistakes without making fun of me, help me with anything whenever I need it. Someone who would be always there for me no matter what.
    Google, you have everything I need in a guy.
    You're my prince charming!

    Posted by RoRo.k in Geek  ID#:469987
  • 48

    A Favorite of 54 users

    Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

    Posted by Anonymous in Geek  ID#:5000
  • 49

    A Favorite of 54 users

    I reject your reality and substitute my own.

    Posted by Loveless_Hopeless in Geek  ID#:171358
  • 50

    A Favorite of 53 users

    How do I set a laser printer to stun?

    Posted by Alkdarf in Geek  ID#:21449

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