The Best Men Quotes

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  • 41

    A Favorite of 78 users

    Penis breath, a lover's dread
    Is what you get when you give head
    Unpleasant as it tends to be
    Be grateful that he doesn't pee
    It's times like this, you wonder why
    you bothered reaching for his fly
    But it's too late, can't be a tease
    Accept the facts, get on your knees
    You know you've got a job to do
    So open wide and shove it through
    Lick the tip then take it all
    Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
    Slide up and down, use your tongue
    And feel the precum start to run
    So when the f***'s he gonna cum
    Just, when you can't take anymore
    You hear your lover's mighty roar
    And when he hits that real high note
    You feel it oozi! ng down your throat
    Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff
    Okay, already that's enough
    Let's switch you say, before you gag
    And whats your revenge, your on the rag.

    Posted by TallGal005 in Men  ID#:14861
  • 42

    A Favorite of 76 users

    Brook: Why do bad guys lie to get into your bed, and good guys lie to get into your heart?

    Posted by Jubylicious in Men  ID#:59774
  • 43

    A Favorite of 76 users

    Men treat you how you allow them to treat you

    Posted by marsbars in Men  ID#:354648
  • 44

    A Favorite of 74 users

    Some men are like chocolate.
    We know we shouldn´t, but occasionally we just can´t help ourselves

    Posted by MeninaVeneno in Men  ID#:140139
  • 45

    A Favorite of 74 users

    don't tell me you're one of the best, when you're exactly like the rest.

    Posted by aoelk424 in Men  ID#:409468
  • 46

    A Favorite of 73 users

    Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

    Posted by None in Men  ID#:955
  • 47

    A Favorite of 73 users

    More men need to man up because females deserve more than empty promises and complicated lies

    Posted by kenken_fly in Men  ID#:393124
  • 48

    A Favorite of 72 users

    Men are like hardwood floors...lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over them for a lifetime

    Posted by Anonymous in Men  ID#:4627
  • 49

    A Favorite of 71 users

    it's no coincidence that pinocchio was a male.

    Posted by TiffyBoohx33 in Men  ID#:363009
  • 50

    A Favorite of 70 users


    1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup

    Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
    Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

    2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk

    Advantages: Stays put; predictable
    Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass

    3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you

    Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
    Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

    4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb

    Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
    Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

    5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict

    Advantages: Well rested; easy target
    Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams

    6. The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a B**ch

    Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
    Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

    7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster

    Advantages: Perpetually aroused
    Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

    8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but ..." Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind

    Advantages: Tells good stories
    Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"

    9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy

    Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
    Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction

    Posted by Ms.gYna in Men  ID#:79713
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