The Best Stupid Quotes

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  • 51

    A Favorite of 96 users


    1. Put your feet on the table and smell them

    2. Burp loudly

    3. take a bite out of your food and pretend to get food poisoning

    4. Yell, "YO WAITER" about 200 times and when they come over say "never mind"

    5. Tell someone that you dropped a fingernail in their soup

    6. Take food off of someone elses plate

    7. Use monopoly money to tip the waiter

    8. Trip any waiter that walks by your table

    9. wear a chicken suit and cluck whenever someone tries to talk to you

    10. Look down your shirt and say loudly, "Doing ok guys?"

    11. Scratch your pits and say "PHEW"

    12. Pretend to have fleas

    * guarenteed that you will get kicked out of any resteraunt if you use these tips...

    Posted by monkey_lucky in Stupid  ID#:139522
  • 52

    A Favorite of 93 users

    the differnce between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits

    Posted by mwah! in Stupid  ID#:101040
  • 53

    A Favorite of 93 users

    Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

    Posted by maryw in Stupid  ID#:128179
  • 54

    A Favorite of 93 users

    It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

    Posted by ddigga in Stupid  ID#:270145
  • 55

    A Favorite of 92 users

    *30 reasons a girl should call it a night*

    1. You have absolutely no idea where your friends are.

    2. You have absolutely no idea where your car is... wait did you bring your car??

    3. You've become convinced that dancing with your arms overhead, shaking your ass, and yelling WOO HOO is truly the sexiest dance move EVER.

    4. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe you can do it (b**ch...i ain't playin...).

    5. You start singing 80's songs at the top of your lungs and showing off your dance skills to the car next to you.

    6. Your bladder becomes amazingly full every 10 minutes.

    7. You sit down and the room and people around you start spinning profusely.

    8. You're slurring your words so bad, that nobody can understand what your saying and then when they say what, you can't even remember what you were talking about.

    9. You've come up with the brilliant idea that you can create less hassle on your friends by just "sleeping over" at a your guy friend's house.

    10. You see beers all over a table so you lift each one up until you find one half full and chug it when no one is looking.

    11. You talk to stupid skanks you really hate and tell them you really do like them and that ya’ll should be friends.

    12. You pass out at the party. And the next morning there is writing all over your face and limbs. (If you pass out with your shoes on, you are fair game).

    13. You find yourself peeing behind random buildings.

    14. You become overly enthusiastic when someone offers you $20 dollars to make out with your friend (when you totally would have done it for free).

    15. The man you're flirting with used to be your TA.

    16. You've suddenly taken up smoking, and become really good at it.

    17. Every conversation starts with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

    18. Your make-up is smeared all over your face and somehow you have still managed to make out with 5 different guys. very classy.

    19. The urge to take off articles of clothing becomes strangely overwhelming.

    20. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own, so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

    21. You yell at the bartender, because you think he cheated you by giving you lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.

    22. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor.

    23. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

    24. You begin to think you're a really good dancer and anyone within arms reach becomes your new dancing partner.

    25. You've taken off your shoes because you believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking.

    26. You can't feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and then when you look to see what time it is, you find you have 7 missed calls from someone you
    "supposedly" met at the last party.

    27. One minute you're strutting your stuff, the next minute you're rolling on the ground, and you can't seem to remember the transition.

    28. You can no longer feel your face or limbs so you flail your body about to try to regain feeling.

    29. You call your ex-boyfriend 1,000 times and leave lots of really nice voicemails saying that ya'll need to hang out more.

    30. You start hugging strange people and having great converstations with strangers at whataburger.

    Posted by balla_10 in Stupid  ID#:124965
  • 56

    A Favorite of 90 users

    I "Also" looked at the keyboard earlier and I noticed 'U' & 'I' were together.. It's meant to be! Then I looked underneath it and it said JK..huh?.
    and the answer lies underneath it NM. = Never mind . .

    Posted by DarknessMatters in Stupid  ID#:374234
  • 57

    A Favorite of 89 users

    There are 6 levels of stupidity. So, uhm.. How did you managed to make it to level 7?

    Posted by Anonymous in Stupid  ID#:404944
  • 58

    A Favorite of 85 users

    i close my eyes and count to five.
    i open them and i'm still sitting here..
    in this room.
    playing music that reminds me of you.
    wishing we were somehow different.
    in an altered universe we would be perfect for each other.
    we would never deal with this whole...i don't even know what to call it anymore.
    it's just..whatever.
    and i'm sure thats all it will ever be.

    you and me:
    the kids on opposite sides of the room.
    ..wishing on the same star.
    wishing the world could change for us.
    then we wouldn't have to change for each other.

    i just want to go somewhere.
    even for one day.
    the beach sounds enviting.

    i want to run.
    we never really laugh.
    i want to climb a fricken tree.
    or sit next to you.
    and talk..
    just to see who you really are.
    i seem to have forgotten.
    ..or maybe we've just gotten lost in the years.

    i know it will never happen.
    you're too set in your ways.
    as i am in mine.
    i think i've made you up in my mind, different than how you really are.
    i'm trying to remember i don't need you.
    but days like these, i can't believe it.

    i can't even hold a conversation with you anymore without making one of us feel like a jerk.
    and i guess inside i know we're not right for each other.
    whats the point in missing someone who shouldn't even exist is my mind?
    why should i hold onto something i
    can't even define?
    we will never be the same.

    it's just..whatever.
    and you don't even know..

    Posted by rebecca_e in Stupid  ID#:159796
  • 59

    A Favorite of 84 users

    Smoking kills, and if your dead you've lost a very important part of your life

    Posted by Sazkay in Stupid  ID#:17597
  • 60

    A Favorite of 84 users

    okay, remember the rules : heads i win, tails you lose

    Posted by Anonymous in Stupid  ID#:143270

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