The Best Government Quotes

  • 1

    A Favorite of 74 users

    The best weapon of all, is truth. But we all know no one can enter a government building with weapons.

    March 27, 2006 by sword-freak in Government  ID#:67193
  • 2

    A Favorite of 72 users

    In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
    He gave Noah the blue prints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard ... but no ark. "Noah," He roared "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
    Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
    When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to putso many animals in a confined space.
    Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted and environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
    I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
    Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.
    To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
    So forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
    Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
    Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?"
    "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

    July 31, 2005 by Emerald_queen in Government  ID#:44775
  • 3

    A Favorite of 56 users

    If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so.

    October 9, 2000 by Donny in Government  ID#:151
  • 4

    A Favorite of 50 users

    don't steal, the government does'nt like competition

    April 18, 2004 by Dudley in Government  ID#:16250
  • 5

    A Favorite of 42 users

    "This is a dangerous place to live in... Not because of the people who do wrong things, but because of the people who let wrong things happen."

    March 12, 2010 by metooyou in Government  ID#:272476
  • 6

    A Favorite of 41 users

    Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the
    following statistics:
    29 have been accused of spousal abuse
    7 have been arrested for fraud
    19 have been accused of writing bad checks
    117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
    3 have done time for assault
    71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
    14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
    8 have been arrested for shoplifting
    21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
    84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

    Can you guess which
    organization this is?


    Give up yet?

    It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that crankout hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

    January 15, 2007 by mellew in Government  ID#:110065
  • 7

    A Favorite of 40 users

    The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

    You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment

    September 21, 2008 by Tc_Origenal in Government  ID#:192829
  • 8

    A Favorite of 39 users

    "I believe there's something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government."

    February 5, 2004 by actorchick25 in Government  ID#:13888
  • 9

    A Favorite of 35 users

    A country with too many laws, is a country with too many problems.

    March 18, 2010 by Codrut_Magheru in Government  ID#:273775
  • 10

    A Favorite of 34 users

    Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding

    August 31, 2005 by nytmare130 in Government  ID#:46951