The Best Philosophy Quotes

  • 1

    A Favorite of 467 users

    01. Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.
    02. Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.
    03. I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.
    04. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's funnier.
    05. When in doubt, do it.
    06. A crappy life is a great excuse to live a crappy life.
    07. Always apologize first--it annoys the crap out of people.
    08. "Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser.
    09. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs harder.
    10. There's a one-in six-billion chance that you'll find your soulmate. And that's if they're not dead.
    11. Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.
    12. The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots..."
    13. Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
    14. Born free. Taxed to death.
    15. I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy every minute of it.
    16. We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
    17. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    18. Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
    19. If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
    20. Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
    21. No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.
    22. Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
    23. Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
    24. Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
    25. God bless America. But God, please help Canada.

    May 24, 2005 by Lazy in Philosophy  ID#:39091
  • 2

    A Favorite of 405 users

    The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

    1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

    2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

    3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

    4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

    5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.

    6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

    How did you do?

    The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Acheivements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

    Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

    1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

    2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

    3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

    4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

    5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.


    The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

    Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

    August 30, 2005 by Joanne in Philosophy  ID#:46901
  • 3

    A Favorite of 373 users

    If you hold eleven different roses in front of a mirror, you will see the twelve most beautiful things in the world...

    April 10, 2003 by Sinetos in Philosophy  ID#:7654
  • 4

    A Favorite of 265 users

    Don't judge people by their covers, most of their books are still being written.

    November 12, 2008 by RoCkHaRd98 in Philosophy  ID#:198771
  • 5

    A Favorite of 252 users

    "If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain."

    February 17, 2004 by guz in Philosophy  ID#:14214
  • 6

    A Favorite of 243 users

    "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."

    December 5, 2002 by Anonymous in Philosophy  ID#:5685
  • 7

    A Favorite of 221 users

    Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

    December 20, 2006 by ILoveYou05 in Philosophy  ID#:106709
  • 8

    A Favorite of 220 users

    If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look similar to this: 57 Asians; 21 Europeans; 14 from the Western Hemisphere; 8 Africans; 52 would be female; 48 would be male; 70 would be non-white; 30 would be white; 70 would be non-Christian; 30 would be Christian; 89 would be heterosexual; 11 would be homosexual; 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.; 80 would live in substandard housing; 70 would be unable to read; 50 would suffer from malnutrition; 1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth; 1 would have a college education; 1 would own a computer: When one considers our world from such an incredibly compressed perspective, the need for both tolerance and understanding becomes glaringly apparent.

    August 12, 2003 by dannyboy6311 in Philosophy  ID#:9559
  • 9

    A Favorite of 215 users

    If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

    November 13, 2005 by norton in Philosophy  ID#:53083
  • 10

    A Favorite of 197 users

    If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

    November 22, 2004 by amanda3000 in Philosophy  ID#:26078