The Best Politics Quotes

  • 11

    A Favorite of 36 users

    you want perfection?
    go buy yourself a barbie doll.

    April 11, 2008 by Katherine_:) in Politics  ID#:170338
  • 12

    A Favorite of 35 users

    Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for yourself.

    September 14, 2002 by Anonymous in Politics  ID#:5022
  • 13

    A Favorite of 33 users

    Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her
    first night in the White House. She has waited so long..........

    The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says,
    "How can I best serve my country?"

    Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
    "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

    The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
    Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
    Jefferson says,

    "Listen to the people."
    Hillary says "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that." !

    On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
    Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

    Lincoln says,

    "Go to the theater."

    January 6, 2007 by Agent007 in Politics  ID#:108988
  • 14

    A Favorite of 30 users

    My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.

    April 15, 2002 by None in Politics  ID#:3875
  • 15

    A Favorite of 30 users

    SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
    COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you milk.
    FASCISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and sells you milk.
    NAZISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and shoots you.
    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both, kills one, and spills the milk in the sewage system.
    CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    October 3, 2004 by mgriff in Politics  ID#:23713
  • 16

    A Favorite of 30 users

    The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
    'The Senator' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

    He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

    The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Th is joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

    The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever?

    Show me."

    The Pope slapped her.

    September 21, 2008 by Tc_Origenal in Politics  ID#:192814
  • 17

    A Favorite of 29 users

    'Twas The Night Before Christmas for a Soldier

    Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
    In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.
    I had come down the chimney with presents to give
    And to see just who in this home did live.
    I looked all about a strange sight I did see,
    No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
    No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand,
    On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.
    With medals and badges, awards of all kind
    A sober thought came through my mind.
    For this house was different, so dark and dreary,
    I knew I had found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.
    I heard stories about them, I had to see more
    So I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
    And there he lay sleeping silent alone,
    Curled up on the floor in his one bedroom home.
    His face so gentle, his room in such disorder,
    Not how I pictured a United States soldier.
    Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?
    Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?
    His head was clean shaven, his weathered face tan,
    I soon understood this was more than a man.
    For I realized the families that I saw that night
    Owed their lives to these men who were willing to fight.
    Soon ‘round the world, the children would play,
    And grownups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
    They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
    Because of soldiers like this one lying here.
    I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone
    On a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.
    Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
    I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
    The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
    "Santa don’t cry, this life is my choice;
    I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,
    my life is my God, my country, my Corps."
    With that he rolled over and drifted off into sleep,
    I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.
    I watched him for hours, so silent and still,
    I noticed he shivered from the cold night’s chill.
    So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
    And I covered this Soldier from his toes to his head.
    And I put on his T-shirt of gray and black,
    With an eagle and an Army patch embroidered on back.
    And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
    And for a shining moment, I was United States Army deep inside.
    I didn’t want to leave him on that cold dark night,
    This guardian of honor so willing to fight.
    Then the soldier rolled over, whispered with a voice so clean and pure,
    "Carry on Santa, it’s Christmas Day, all is secure."
    One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
    Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night!

    August 14, 2006 by Irish_Girl in Politics  ID#:88804
  • 18

    A Favorite of 28 users

    Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?

    October 3, 2006 by Lazy in Politics  ID#:95290
  • 19

    A Favorite of 27 users

    "Greatness comes not when things go always good for you, but the greatness comes when you are really tested, and you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes, because only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain."

    July 31, 2003 by Anonymous in Politics  ID#:9309
  • 20

    A Favorite of 27 users

    politicians declare wars, generals fight battles, and the ordinary foot soldiers do the dying.

    May 15, 2011 by patr10t1 in Politics  ID#:402861