The Best Women Quotes

  • 1

    A Favorite of 905 users

    How to Treat a Girl
    1.Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

    2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out.

    3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

    4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

    5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

    6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

    7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

    8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

    8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

    9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

    10. Not all of them eat like birds, alot of them can eat like whales.

    11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.

    11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

    12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

    13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

    14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the s**t out of him.

    15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

    16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

    17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

    18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

    19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

    20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like s**t, so be understanding.

    21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

    22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

    23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

    24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

    25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

    26. Memorize their god damned birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

    27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

    28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.

    29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

    30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

    September 17, 2005 by Anonymous in Women  ID#:48448
  • 2

    A Favorite of 620 users

    True Things About Girls...

    - We will never be too old for sleepovers.

    - Gossip isn't a sin. It's an art.

    - We have this thing called feelings. don't hurt them.

    - We don't wake up looking pretty. It takes time and effort.

    - Sometimes is just never quite enough.

    - We need girls nights OFTEN.

    - We hold grudges [sometimes] and we never forget the things you say to us that hurt.

    - It does'nt matter who dumped who or why. Whenever we see an ex with another girl, it always bothers us. Not because we're not over you, but because we know we used to be that girl.

    - Makeup can hide so many things, like puffy eyes from crying of a broken heart.

    - Never ever ask a girl what she weighs; or simply anything about her weight being too much or too little. just don`t do it.

    - Never ask a girl if shes being b**chy cause of PMS.. cause other things annoy us...duh!

    - As much as we say we didnt like you that much...we did.

    - Girls notice every little thing so be careful what you say and do.

    - Our eyes are located in our heads. Not our chest or butt. So when
    you're not looking in our eyes, WE KN0W.

    - We get a feeling in our gut when things are wrong.

    - We don't like it when you're with someone in a relationship and you're over there texting some other b**ch.

    - Sometimes we trust you because we want to, even when we know you are lying, and it hurts.

    -We hate liars and hypocrites so do us a favor and just don't be one.

    September 13, 2007 by Rocky in Women  ID#:140591
  • 3

    A Favorite of 609 users

    Why Women Cry
    Watch her eyes

    A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

    "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

    Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

    "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

    The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

    God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

    I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

    I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

    I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

    I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

    I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

    I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

    And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

    "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

    The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

    January 28, 2005 by Skanky Rah Rah in Women  ID#:30574
  • 4

    A Favorite of 585 users

    Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.

    The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

    First floor
    The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

    Second floor
    The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

    Third floor
    This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
    "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

    Fourth floor
    This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
    "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

    Fifth floor
    The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f-cking impossible to please. The exit is to your left."

    *Didn't write*

    March 7, 2005 by jimmys_girl in Women  ID#:32891
  • 5

    A Favorite of 530 users

    Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

    So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

    June 12, 2003 by 5abiChic in Women  ID#:8424
  • 6

    A Favorite of 499 users

    Girls have unique powers; they get wet without water, bleed without injury and make boneless things hard..

    January 18, 2006 by pencil_drop in Women  ID#:59714
  • 7

    A Favorite of 492 users

    She smiles through the pain because she knows, even though she's breaking inside, he's still watching.

    September 2, 2006 by yelah in Women  ID#:91180
  • 8

    A Favorite of 439 users

    Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess, because just like the game of chess, the queen protects the king

    July 1, 2010 by Nadia7793 in Women  ID#:297752
  • 9

    A Favorite of 421 users

    If you look inside a girl's heart
    and see how much she cries
    you will find secrets,
    best friends and lies
    but what you'll see the most
    is how hard it is to stay strong
    when nothing is right
    and everything is wrong

    March 7, 2006 by gothic_cheerleader_ox in Women  ID#:64715
  • 10

    A Favorite of 403 users

    I'm glad a guy finally was thinking and realized how girls feel. Read it, its very true.

    Guy; "Stop being so hard on yourselves. I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, huge boobs, round ass, long legs, big lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop being dicks... just because we have them doesn't mean we need to think with them."

    August 7, 2005 by poetic_tragedy in Women  ID#:45260