My Recent Favorite Quotes (nicole918)

  • 1

    A Favorite of 106 users

    They say follow your heart.
    But when your heart is in so many pieces.
    Which way are you to follow?

    October 26, 2006 by Liquid_X in Love  ID#:98280
  • 2

    A Favorite of 4 users

    Funny Yo Mama jokes:

    ›Yo Mama so fat, when she sat on a quarter, a booger popped out of George Washington's nose!
    ›Yo Mama so fat, when she goes to the zoo, the elaphants throw peanuts at her!
    ›Yo Mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it!
    ›Yo Mama so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!

    April 18, 2008 by nicole918 in Humor  ID#:171332
  • 3

    A Favorite of 10 users

    here are some one liners i found in a book:

    › What's another word for "thesaurus"?
    › Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?
    › Everybody is some one else's weirdo.
    › When i'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

    April 18, 2008 by nicole918 in Humor  ID#:171331
  • 4

    A Favorite of 4911 users

    Ways To Get To A Girls Heart-- 1. Hug her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING! 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT! 10. Brush the hair out of her eyes 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Love her with all your heart Girls- add this if you think its sweet. Guys- add this if you would do any of it

    July 8, 2005 by purple_girl in Love  ID#:42974
  • 5

    A Favorite of 2960 users

    Boys, just do it!----Tell her you think shes cool. Tell her why you think shes so cool. Smell her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river; shell scream and fight you but secretly, shell love it. Hold her hand and skip. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her. Tell her she looks pretty. Let her pay for stuff if she wants to. Introduce her to your friends as The coolest girl I know. Sit in the park and talk to her. Take her to the library, and playgrounds, and train stations. Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her stupid jokes. Write poems about her. Just walk around with her. Throw pebbles at her window at night. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Take her to shows of bands shes never heard of. Hold her hand in the mosh pit. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Call her back if she calls you. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then kiss her. Give her piggy-back rides. Go see her band play even if they really suck, and tell her they were great. Give her space if she needs it. Push her on swings. Stay up with her all night when shes sick. Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones. Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds. Write on her. Make her mixtapes. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour train trip. Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Listen to all the bands she mentions. Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck. When shes sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the photos of you she wants. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Kiss her in the rain.When you fall in love with her, tell her. <3

    November 16, 2004 by shannynbobannon in Love  ID#:25747
  • 6

    A Favorite of 98 users

    i suffer from CRAFT
    **Cant Remember A F***in' Thing**

    October 15, 2005 by gc_lüvá in Humor  ID#:50493
  • 7

    A Favorite of 169 users

    A blind man wanders into a lesbian biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, do you want to hear a blonde joke?"

    The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
    "No... not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

    September 25, 2006 by aschrage in Humor  ID#:94344
  • 8

    A Favorite of 110 users

    three frogs were arrested and taken to court. the judge told the bailiff to bring the first frog in.
    "hi whats your name son?"
    "frog"
    "what are you here for?"
    "i don't know all i was doing was blowing bubbles in the pond"
    " is that all? well get out of here." the first frog leaves as the second enters.
    "hello son whats your name?"
    "frog frog"
    "what are you here for?"
    "i was blowing bubbles in the pond"
    "well get out of here"
    then the third frog comes in and the judge says " let me guess your name is frog frog frog"
    "na i'm bubbles"

    August 14, 2006 by bobby in Humor  ID#:88783
  • 9

    A Favorite of 74 users

    Confucius say: man who drop watch in toilet have s**tty time.

    July 2, 2002 by Anonymous in Humor  ID#:4379
  • 10

    A Favorite of 242 users

    Blonde Logic

    January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

    February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

    March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

    April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

    May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

    June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

    July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

    August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

    September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

    October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

    November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

    December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

    What a year!!

    March 14, 2008 by Rocky in Humor  ID#:166053