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THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL...

Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the wishing fountain

Try pants on backwards at a clothing store. Ask a salesperson if they make your butt look big

At the bottom of the escalator scream "My Shoelaces AARGHH!!!!"

Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsellable

Ask mall cops about their experience in World War 1

Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears

Pose as a fashion dummy in the clothes department, occasionally screaming without warning

Test mattresses in your pajamas

If youre patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking back and forth

Sprint up the down escalator

Stare at staic on a display TV and challenge others on whether they too can see the 'hidden picture'

Make unusual request at a piercing place

Ask a salesperson at a hardware store on how well a certain saw cuts through bone

Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner

Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist

Sneak up on salespeople at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau De Swanke

Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting you lost a contact lens

Ask a woman whether a particular pair of panties matches the color of your hair

In the changing rooms, announce in a sing-song voice "I see London, I see France..."

Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps

Ask a pharmacist at a drugstore for a cold medicine that will give you "a really wicked buzz!"

Ask someone at the information desk for a stroller... and someone to push you around in it

Hand a pair of pants back to a saleperson with a scornful look and scornfully announce that they arent "leak proof"

If its Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your lap

Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man"

Posted by pencil_drop in Things To Do  ID#:53648

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